Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
