if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
When did angry sex become our thing?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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