"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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