Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
