i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
