One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
