i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I party with great urgency now.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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