so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
