CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Randomize
