There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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