Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
