i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
