Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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