You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
