everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
