who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
