Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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