Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
