D3 body, D1 cock
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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