is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i came on her dog
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Mom said you looked used
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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