I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
