What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
