I am full of burrito and curiosity
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
