My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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