she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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