Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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