I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
