i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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