I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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