im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
