Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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