I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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