butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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