So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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