Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
