nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
