new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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