Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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