I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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