We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
