first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
