It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we're so committed to being not committed
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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