I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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