It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
