True but thats because hes a fetus.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We left the knife in your bed.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
