there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize