Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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