He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
