I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
