thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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