you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
