Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
