We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
