So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
