I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
