making cat noises will not fix the situation.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
