Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
