DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
