At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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