If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
