well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Randomize
