I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
