As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
The uberlube is also flammable
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
