I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
