of course. lets lasso hookers.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
